Oh… my… God!
This year I entered the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award competition and unlike past years I made it into the second round. It was in that round that I fell to the wayside.
I imagine that all the contestants that were eliminated in the second round received two critiques. One was favorable and pointed out the good and bad in my writing. That was great. Useful criticism is a staple in writing. The other couldn’t make it past the scene where the protagonist becomes infected with The Pelican Flu.
Now I’ve done a copy and paste of what was said, and nothing was changed. I hope you enjoy.
The Not-So-Big Book of Sickness
ABNA Expert Reviewer
What is the strongest aspect of this excerpt?
This excerpt was all about disgusting bodily fluids, vomit, sickness and misery. I think it will stick in my mind for hours after I finish this excerpt. The visual imigages were awful and nauseating. I don’t think I will ever forget it although I’d like to.
What aspect needs the most work?
I would like to see some part of this book not want to make me vomit. I wish the author could write about something else than bodily excretions, sickness and disease. Yes, I know it’s about him being a ghost but there is no way I would want to continue reading after such gross images.
What is your overall opinion of this excerpt?
sickening. Simply sickening. That is not to say that the author is not a good writer. Indeed, he managed to capture the essence of disgustingness. For that I must credit him. But I don’t know who would want to read this book and willingly put themselves in a world full of vomit.
So the truth is out. I can write and I can do it well. I’ve given out more copies of Memoirs of the Walking Dead than I could keep up with and more than a dozen people, that I know of, are unable to make it past the initial infection or the sickness that follows. Without giving anything away I wanted to do a unique infection scene, inspired by The 40 Year Old Virgin, and a sickness scene unlike anything anyone has ever read or witnessed on a screen. It appears I have succeeded and I take no small amount of pride in that. In fact, I take a lot of pride in that fact. If you want to learn more you should really pick up a copy and find out. It’s guaranteed to make you squirm.
Edit: I forgot to point out that the “expert reviewer” also believed the story was about a ghost when in fact the title is Memoirs of the Walking Dead: A story from the zombie’s point of view. Obviously he or she wasn’t a zombie/horror/comedy fan.
I don’t even know what to say!!
If you woud have asked me 5 minutes ago if I ever wanted to read a book that will make me sick–I would have said “Of course not.”
Now I HAVE to read it.
Not sure I want to–but this is now something I have to do.
Congrats!
Not easy to make an impression like that.
Wish me luck Jason!
My mother always told me that I should go forth and leave a good impression on people. I’m not sure that’s what mama had in mind though. lol
I wish you nothing but the best and super luck, Penelope. Though truth be told, your work is phenomenal! Francine & the Super Pet Spy Bunny is a treasured book with the girls. And don’t get me started on The Moon is No Place for a Ghost.
Obviously you did your job very well if the reviewer was so sickened they couldn’t get past that portion of the book and give it a fair chance. Perhaps this is not the genre for that reviewer to be reading if it was so effective that it stopped them from reading further into the book. You should be (and are, by your admission) proud you so effectively conveyed what you set out to do! And congrats on making round two ;}
Thank you, Nina. The funny thing is this; for those two months of the contest I sold over 100 copies each month. My normal selling is 25 to 30. No coincidence I say. I’ve always lived by the mantra that says, “Be effective in what ever you do.” I’d like to think that I’m a very effective author.
I would agree with Nina.. Obviously not her genre and I think you got really unlucky with that reviewer.. To be honest I don’t think she took a very professional approach at all..xx
Thank you for replying, Rosie! I agree. I drew someone not into the horror or, dare I say, comedy genre. Memoirs is a zombie comedy at its heart. I agree. It was unprofessional, but the reviewers didn’t have to attach their name to the ABNA Expert Reviewer review so I suppose that afforded them a little “critquing freedom”. Regardless I found it humorous, plus I’ve been meaning to blog about this for the past month and now seemed a perfect time.
it made me want to read it. Job done. Much luck
lol Thank you, Eileen for reading and commenting. Any reaction means you’re good, so I took it as a compliment.
Congrats on making the first cut, anyway!
I had a #FridayFlash story get dinged pretty hard for a similar (but less nauseating) reason: I did too good a job making the readers feel what the characters were feeling. Unfortunately, what they were feeling was sensory overload.
I’m hoping to have something to enter next year…
We should all be so lucky to receive a bad review like that!
Jason, I did the ABNA the first year it was happening, with the book that eventually became This Brilliant Darkness. I was SO DEPRESSED that I didn’t make the first round, I didn’t pick it up to edit it again for at least a couple of years.
I later found out that the expert reviewers were Top Reviewers on Amazon, some of whom for reviewing every day products like toilet paper, kitchen appliances, socks, etc. ALL Horror/Fantasy was lumped together, and they didn’t even bother to match reviewers to what genre they read. Some of them didn’t even read for pleasure, as one blogger confessed. His blog was all about “Why did I agree to do this, this sucks, I’m just giving people 1 stars until I’ve met my quota, I’ll get paid, regardless.” I was horrified and saddened again, but it did make me feel better to learn that. If only it hadn’t taken me years of wondering if I had been simply out of my mind for entering my book in the first place! I mean, that did a serious number on my self-esteem!
Now, I just look at the reviews on TBD and go “Yeah, that’s right. I’m the 5 star writer. That’s me!”
I can’t believe I let some toilet paper reviewer (that’s how I think of whomever it was) psych me out!!!
I’m with Dea, now I want to read your book, too.
Hey Red! I didn’t know any of that. That seems to be a pretty shitty way to be an “expert reviewer”. I know that’s a bad pun, but somehow it fits. I used to get depressed over stuff like that, but one day it occurred to me that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. I’m reminded of a Joe Piscopo skit with him doing Jerry Lewis. I may be paraphrasing here, but I remember one of his lines was, “The critics are morons. In France I’m a god.” Well, in Sweden I’m a demigod.
I really need to send you and Dea and copy. I apologize for the advance throw up you’ll suffer from, but at least you’ll know what the fuss is about. lol
Jason, I love the pic! I’ve mentioned this before – the vomit scene actually triggered my gag reflex, because it was so well written. It’s a pity the reviewer (a) didn’t actually read properly – I’ve read the book and it doesn’t contain a single spook, ghost or phantom and (b) couldn’t get past that scene to one of the funniest zombie books I’ve ever read. Still, I’d take the crit as a positive – the worst thing you could do to a reader is bore them – and you definitely didn’t bore whoever this was!