From October 24 to 31, 2011 I am a part of the Coffin Hop Horror Web Tour being hosted by http://www.coffinhop.blogspot.com/.
Now part of the requirement to join is to have a Halloween type post on your blog. My offering doesn’t come straight from my mind. Instead it comes straight from the mind of my 8 y/o progeny, Sarah.
Sarah’s a huge Spongebob Squarepants fan and she decided that I needed to do a Spongebob short story filled with zombies. Not wanting to disappoint my new primary muse, I set about putting her idea to “paper”. What I present to you is a Sarah McKinney original short story titled, The Zombie Attack in Bikini Bottom on Halloween Night.
The Zombie Attack in Bikini Bottom on Halloween Night
Sarah and Jason McKinney
One Halloween night the wizard Melamort visited the bone yard to resurrect his dead snail, Twinkles. But instead he revived something else, fish zombies.
The undead denizens rose from their graves, smelling worse than they had in life. Even Twinkles wasn’t immune to the ravages of death.
“All I wanted was Twinkles!” Melamort ran home, screaming like a scared eight-year-old girl. The only difference was an eight-year-old girl is much braver.
Spongebob was carving his traditional pumpkin of his best friend, Patrick Star, when Melamort ran past his pineapple home screaming. “Hm. I wonder what his problem is?” Spongebob asked his pet snail,Gary.
Garyarched an eyebrow and though he couldn’t talk, wanted to say, “Eh. He lives in Bikini Bottom. He’s probably just realized that he lives in the crotch end ofNeptune’s pants.”
Spongebob went back to happily carving his pumpkin when he heard a rustling in the kelp outside his window. Curious, he looked outside and saw a diseased undead snail staring back at him. “Gruff, brains,” it said lazily.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!” screamed Spongebob. He didn’t know what to do and ended up run around in a circle four times then falling flat on his face. “What am I going to do,” he muttered toGary, flipping over onto his back.
Gary, knowing Spongebob for the drama queen he was, rolled his eyes and slithered up the wall to look out the window. “Gragh,” moaned zombie Twinkles. “Snail brains.”
Gary’s eyes grew wide. “Holy crap!” He looked past Twinkles and saw the mass of zombie fish walking down the street.
Moving as fast asGarycould, he slithered down the wall and took Spongebob’s hand in his mouth. SlowlyGarypulled Spongebob along the floor.
“What are we going to do,Gary? Maybe if we ignore them they’ll move toShellCityinstead.”
Even though he was a snail,Garywas still smarter than his master. Inside his bed was a teleportation device that he’d received from Spongebob’s genius friend, Sandy Cheeks.Sandyhad entrustedGarywith it knowing that Spongebob would get himself into trouble one day and would need it.
Garypulled it out of the bed and stepped on the trigger, teleporting them to the Chum Bucket.
Gary and Spongebob appeared in front of Plankton as he was having another fight with his computer wife, Karen. Plankton was surprised to see Spongebob but at the same time was thrilled to have him as a “guest”.
“See that, Karen? I told you that Spongeboob would see things my way and give up the Krabby Patty secret formula.”
“Zombies,” said Spongebob, lying on the floor.
“Zombies? That’s the secret ingredient? What good is zombie flesh in a Krabby Patty? You would think that decaying flesh would ruin the flavor.”
“Zombies outside,” whispered Spongebob.
“Moron. There’s no such thing as zombies.” Plankton looked out the window to see a collection of undead sea life banging on the glass. “Holy Poseidon’s underpants! Zombies!”
“What did you do, Spongedork?”
“Wizard did it. Crazy wizard made the zombies.”
Just then a more urgent pounded reverberated across the glass. It was an uninfected and crying Patrick Star. “Let me in, Spongebob! Puh-lease!”
Zombies surrounded Patrick. One was about to bite him but turned away, disgusted. Two more tried as well but looked away with twisted faces. Zombies prefer not to eat stupid and Patrick was the stupidest being in the Seven Seas. It also didn’t hurt that Patrick had the bathing habits of Hobo Joe from down the street.
“Let me in! I don’t want to get conjunctivitis,” screamed Patrick.
Spongebob, fearing for his friend’s life, sprang into action and let Patrick inside.
Patrick wasn’t halfway through the door when Mr. Krabbs ran him over, screaming, “The undead are after me money!”
“You’re both idiots,” roared Plankton.
“You just want me secret formula. They want me money!” argued Krabbs.
“Right now I’ll settle for being alive,” retorted Plankton.
“Conjunctivitis!” screamed Patrick.
“That’s hereditary, Patrick,” answered Spongebob.
“I don’t want conjunctivitis!”
A squeal of tires was heard and Squidward’s boatmobile burst through the wall. “Zombies! Zombie fish are every where,” he yelled climbing out of the wreckage.
“Now they’re in here too,” screamed Mr. Krabbs. “Mr. Squidward! You’re fired!”
The zombie fish stumbled through the opening Squidward had made. A rumbling shook the ground and a tank came through the hole, crushing Squidward’s car and some of the zombie fish.
Sandy Cheeks popped up through the driver’s hatch and laughed. “Ya’ll stop cowering like a prairie dog toddler afraid of the dark! Come on, we’re visiting a wizard!”
They drove to the wizard’s cottage, crushing all the zombies they saw along the way but the wizard was no help. He had started the plague but had no idea how to stop it. The spell was slowly spreading to the world and the zombie attacks were getting worse.
“Why am I surrounded by idiots?” wondered Plankton. “I went to college.”
“This yahoo’s useless. Let’s get to a spell shop, ya’ll.”
They arrived at The Bikini Bottom Spells for All, dismounting Sandy’s tank. Gary stayed behind. There was no power in the world that would make him leave the safety of the armored beast. That combined with the snail treats Sandy kept near the driver’s seat compelled him to stay.
Cautiously the Krusty Krew entered the shop. The spell shop was dark and appeared to be empty until a zombie squid shuffled from the back room.
Spongebob shrieked and fainted, falling on top of Plankton. Plankton let out a scream as Spongebob collapsed on him. Mr. Krabbs cowered behind the unconscious yellow sponge. Squidward ran back to the tank andSandyarmed herself with a medieval mace hanging from the wall.
“It’s time to get squirrely medieval on ya’ll’s behind! Hi-Yah! Ki-Hah!” Sandyswung the mace in karate motions that reduced the zombie squid to something that looked like caviar. “Now that’s how ya’ll make calamari.” She looked to Spongebob and Mr. Krabbs. “Ya’ll better come on. We ain’t got all night to nap.”
They ransacked the Bikini Bottom Spells for All shop untilSandyfound a Zom-Be-Gone spell that could rid the town of their undead infestation.
Carefully she read the “ancient” text. Spongebob stood mesmerized bySandy’s reading all the while making a strangled “oooooh” sound. The noise was actually Plankton moaning in pain. He was still stuck to Spongebob’s back.
“Ye got something on yer back, lad,” said Mr. Krabbs, peeling Plankton off. With a haphazard flick, Plankton flew out the broken window, landing under the foot of a passing undead lobster. The sound of Plankton being smushed gave Krabbs his first and only smile of the evening.
Sandyfinished reading the spell and a flash of purple pink light illuminated the town. The spell had worked. It stopped the undead from multiplying but didn’t put down the ones still roaming around. That didn’t matter to her.Sandywas raring to get her hands dirty with zombie guts.
“We’re going to have a good old fashionedTexaszombie stomp!”Sandytwirled her cowboy hat and laughed as she drove her tank through Bikini Bottom, crushing the remaining zombies.
With the zombie menace put down, the Krusty Krew and friends settled down to carve their pumpkins and have a Krabby Patty. Well, everyone except Plankton. He still wanted the formula and zombie apocalypse of not, Mr. Krabbs wouldn’t give him one. Then everyone had a Happy Halloween!