Penn reported to work two days later, and sat waiting for the morning briefing to start. So far she only suffered from minimal grumbles from her stomach this morning. She was feeling better than she had in days, and the shit she’d had that morning was satisfying. That coupled with her not vomiting since the Doc had come to check her out put her in a more agreeable mood.
“Feeling better this morning,” remarked Roy Valdez, her partner, as he joined her at their table. He spoke like he wasn’t surprised to see her, and it was just a statement of fact. “You finished shitting and vomiting your brains out or are you waiting till we bust someone and then puke on them to make them melt? You know I had to deal with that poor dog you gooeyed up, right? At least tell me your shit schedule is back on track.”
“My shit sched-, the fuck are you talking about?” Penn rolled her eyes before scowling at him. “We’re not that close, Officer Valdez, for you to be worried about my hell-shit.” Penn’s whisper was sharp, and her eyes flared at him, showing the hell-rage building inside of her. She leaned forward slightly. “Don’t take liberties you don’t have an entitlement to take, Egenite.” She spoke in their native language, reminding him of his place in the pecking order of Hell’s legions. As an Asmodeus Penn had that right to remind him of his place.
Instead of putting Valdez’s familiarity to bed for the moment, he pressed harder. “You’re fucking sick, Penn. Social pecking order be blessed, but we are about to go out on the street, and you shitting yourself or puking on a perp or just as bad, a citizen, is really a big deal at this moment.”
Penn looked around the room at day-shift officers filing into the briefing room in ones and twos or sitting discussing whatever with each other. She cared nothing for them now, she only wanted to silence Roy Valdez’s criticism.
“Shut your mouth.” She reached under the table and squeezed his leg hard enough to make him wince from her emerging, piercing nails. “I’m fine, I had a great shit this morning, okay. My stomach isn’t upset, I’m back on track. Fuck, why is this such a big deal? Let. It. Go. Valdez.” Penn gripped harder to get her point across.
“Alright,” he answered, prying her hand from his leg. It took a lot of strength to remove her hand. She relaxed her grip strength as he gripped her wrist and moved her hand away from his thigh. “Alright. I’ll keep quiet.” He looked back toward the front of the room, and then whipped his head back to her suddenly. “Actually, I’ll let it go for the mo, but you’re ate the Heaven up, and you know it,” he hissed.
“Asshole,” she muttered, beginning to drum her fingers on the table. At that moment, she felt antsy, anxious even, but couldn’t put her finger on why. She balled her hand into a fist once she realized that her manicured nails were tearing divots into the coated press board tabletop.
She rubbed at the marks in a lame attempt to wipe them away. It did nothing, and she knew it would. In that moment Captain Espinoza entered the room as she gave up on trying to make the marks disappear.
Captain Felicia Espinoza took her post at the podium and greeted the gathered cops, waiting to get to their assigned patrols. She eyed Penn critically, and addressed her personally, asking if she was up to going out on patrol.
“I’m good, Captain,” Penn answered, sitting straighter in her seat. “Just a forty-eight-hour stomach bug.”
Espinoza was a good cop, bordering on great. And she was human. She had no affiliation with either side. In fact, her loyalties lay with upholding the law. Espinoza was a firm believer in the law. God, the angelic hosts, and Satan and his legions meant nothing to her. And she let everyone know her beliefs were not only the standard to uphold, but to live by.
“Right,” Espinoza answered. “On to business.”
Espinoza went into the highlights of what needed to be looked for during the dayshift and the commissioner’s and mayor’s initiatives to be more proactive in making sure various offenses was dealt with on a case-by-case basis. To Penn the initiatives meant more face-to-face human interactions she didn’t want to deal with at the best of times. At the end of the day, the individual officer was left with the unenviable position of trying to leave the population with a more favorable view of the LAPD. To Penn it just meant more listening to excuses, whining, and overall general human behavior of trying to get out of trouble or potentially get someone into trouble.
“End of the day we’ll use our best, most reasonable, judgement on when and how we act and react. Questions?” Espinoza leaned forward, her hands gripping the sides on the podium.
“How do I get out of this chickenshit outfit?” whispered Valdez softly.
“You say that every time. Find new material,” Penn whispered back.
“It’s a classic. Never gets old,” he responded as Espinoza vacated the podium.
She rose from her seat, as the others did to go pick up equipment from the equipment room.
“Penn. A moment.” Sergeant Stork stepped to block her exit from the room. Penn and Valdez were the last to leave by Penn’s design. She had rightfully assumed that Stork would surely take an interest in her current health and welfare.
“Just to be clear. You’re good to go, right? No more defecating on yourself, or forcefully expelling stomach juices on any unfortunate strays?” Stork crossed her arms across her chest.
“By Belial and all the crap he gets into,” she quietly exclaimed. She stared sternly into Stork’s face. “I’m good, and I did not crap myself, Sergeant. Why is that a thing that it appears everyone is familiar with happening to me?”
“And the dog? How about that poor creature? I can’t stand dogs on general principle, but that… that was pretty grotesque, and it took pointless suffering to a new level. Regardless, can I look forward to having your partner go out and clean up another Hell-spawned crime scene? By the way, Officer Valdez, good job on that, thank you, and now, you can head to your shop. You and I are good here.”
Valdez nervously cleared his throat. “If it’s all the same, Sergeant Stork. I’d like to stay. Penn’s my partner and what affects her-”
“Get to your shop, pissant,” Stork said, and then opened her mouth slightly. She looked like she had been caught in a thought mid-sentence, but that wasn’t what was happening. Different items around the briefing room began to vibrate as the low frequency subsonic noise from her mouth grew in intensity.
Chairs and tables jittered gently, and the room’s overhead lights swayed slightly, and the glass fluorescent bulbs groaned strangely from the audible assault. The glass partition separating the hall from the room flexed against the invisible force.
Penn and Valdez both squinted their eyes in unison. Their teeth were gritted against the sound and their lips peel back, revealing their true filed to points orthodontic nature. It took a considerable effort of will to not put their hands over their ears. The atmosphere in the room was difficult to explain away to a human witness. Explaining why they were reacting to a sound only canines, and supernatural beings should hear would be impossible.
“Show me in route,” Valdez answered before hastily leaving. “Meet you outside, Boss.” His jibe to Stork, showing where his fluid loyalties lay at that moment was weak at best, but it was in Roy’s nature to try to be a smartass.
“You’re a decent cop, Penelope, but you’re a great demon. Hell and Heaven, you’re one of the original daemons. You fought on Glory Hill in the big push for Secession. Received a blessing from Luci himself for your viciousness and bravery during that engagement. Now this, whatever this is, isn’t you. Calling out sick, vomiting on curs so bad you turn them into meat jam, and shitting yourself while in uniform. Goddamn it, we may be here to undermine this existence, but we have standards,” Penn was about to speak, but Stork held up a finger to halt her, “Standards, both demon and not least of all human.”
“Sarge,” Penn answered sternly, “I did not drop a deuce in my pants. Why does everyone keep saying that?”
“Probably because it’s funny as shit, forgive the pun, to cops.” Stork looked away contemplating what she’d just said, “Hell, that’s the way it is to most humans. You know how much they love their poop humor.” Stork snapped her head back up. “You binged borscht again, didn’t you? Is that why you got sick? What is in that mess that you eat?”
“Does everyone know my life as well as I do?” Penn felt exasperated at having her food preferences questioned, let alone everyone seeming to know what her favorite human foods were.
“Yeah, we know you love that stuff. Everyone know.” Stork waved the comment away before continuing. Whatever. Now, look me in the eyes and tell me, honestly, for what it’s worth, that you are solid to RTD from sick leave.”
“I’m solid, and it was only a couple of days sick.”
“You were sick. Period. How often does it need to be said, we don’t get sick?”
“I’m good. I’m solid.” Penn reiterated her statement with as much confidence as she could muster. She hoped she looked the part as much has she thought she did. “I’d like to go out on patrol, now, Sergeant.” Penn’s stomach grumbled, and then knotted before the words died in the air.
“Sure you are,” said Stork, glancing down at her stomach. “Get out of here. Get breakfast, or whatever.”
Penn calmly left the room before Stork, and then made a beeline for the second-floor bathroom. She praised whatever demons, saints or even djinn responsible that the bathroom was unoccupied at the moment she needed the privacy.
Grasping the sides of the sink, she dry heaved until her throat burned. Nothing was expelled, and Penn wasn’t sure if she should be grateful, or worried. She decided on thankful as she cleaned her face and straightened her uniform. Before she turning away from the mirror, she contemplated her bowel situation and made a disgusted face.
Satan on the throne, she thought, returning to the mirror. She checked her bun, smoothed down her shirt, and straightened her duty belt once more. Now, I’m judging my shit habits like a human. Am I going native? Fucking-
A knock on the door disturbed her introspection.
“Are you done in there,” asked a decidedly female voice on the other side.
“Almost done,” Penn announced before pausing to stare into the mirror once more. She closed took a deep breath to steady her mind and reopened them.
For a moment, the briefest of instances, she had seen her true form, but not as a demon alone. Her reflection cast a female version of her demon face. If she was going to be honest, it was a sexier version of her natural face. The brief glimpse told Penn the reflection was very nearly a human induced sexual fantasy, a caricature of what humans thought female demons looked like.
The image was imprinted on her brain, now. It was that overly attractive red faced, demon horned pointy eared image that was something some weeaboo, Japanese obsessed basement dweller would lust after.
The image memory was only compounded by the fact that it was just her face, arms and hands she had seen. The second most shocking portion of the image was that she could see her police uniform covering her as it normally did. It wasn’t what she would normally see in a mirror. Normally that consisted of hooves, a brutal looking muscular body, horns, and sharp severe facial features. Reflections were always either that or the human form if she willed it. If anything, the uniform’s short sleeves in the mirror had indicated that the perceived alluring image was all of her at that moment in time. All of that coupled with an LAPD uniform said to perverts everywhere and on every plane of existence to come-fuck-me-now. Or at least jerk off to my image. That thought gave her a violent shudder. Penn hated pervs. They were the worst of humans who dabbled in non-violent transgressions as far as she was concerned.
The sight repulsed her the moment she thought she had seen it. The disgust quickly mingled with the subconscious possibility that the reflected look wasn’t altogether worthy of shunning. The disgust continued to fight for superiority over fascination as another more urgent knock came at the door.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve really got to use the bathroom,” said the voice again.
Penn opened the door, and came face to face with a very human, very pregnant female.
“I’m sorry about that,” Penn said, looking to the pregnant woman’s stomach. “Uh, yeah. Sorry about that.”
“Not a big deal,” answered the woman as she side-stepped Penn into the bathroom. “Being close to eight months along makes peeing more urgent. Little bastard is dancing on my bladder.” The woman smiled at Penn as she began to close the door. “You might experience the blessed hell of pregnancy one day, if you haven’t already.”
“Yeah,” Penn said again, turning away. “Not yet, and only if I’m unlucky and Hell freezes over.”